Bodily Function Hour

I’ve been meaning to have this rant for some time. Is it just me, or are the miscellaneous bodily function adverts getting really rather wearing?

There’s the various women who need a big shit digestive transit, illustrating said point by filling their handbag with food, and fixing said problem by drinking yoghurt-based snake oil.

There’s the plethora of “women’s products”, featuring blue water and “happy periods”. I can’t say it seems like a happy event, even from my obviously limited view, and I fail to see how product X will alter that.

Then, and here’s the best, there’s the “little shit kid who is either sitting on the shitter or declaring to all and sundry that he wants to, in order to drop a great big shit digestive transit “poo” with the handy scent of some brand of air freshner.

Lesser offenders: The bear that literally does shit in the woods, and then uses Charmin afterwards, then advertises the fact in Times Square.

One particular ad break a couple of years ago saw my Friday evening disturbed by the whole fucking medley in one break. Charning. Went nicely with my tea, that one. Nom Nom Nom.

Fuck off, the lot of you. I do not wish to know. Especially the little snot-nosed, shitty-arsed brat. Isn’t there someone else you could annoy?

Evil Overlord 17: At eternity in a pool of digestive transit for the media tossers that thought up the above.

4 Responses to “Bodily Function Hour”

  1. Stu Says:

    Good rant.

    And I agree.

  2. Countrie Bumpkin Says:

    The Sir Bobby Charlton advert is the most annoying as he almost never headed the ball in his playing career and having been to a few games, even a modern football is still quite hard when fired at you by an overpaid player, so the analogy of it improving one of our greatest players’ game is quite obscene.

    You forgot the bloaty – I-need-to-fart- adverts! Just lift yer leg and let it go love!

  3. Stymistress Says:

    You forgot the one about restoring the natural balance in your vagina that was in the same advert break . Do they really think this is the sort of thing that Women are going to impulse buy based on a advert?

    Ps I think it was a couple of weeks ago not years? Put me right of my Chicken Shaslick!

  4. stymaster Says:

    @stymistress: Hello dear. Don’t see you here often 🙂

    Ah, yes. More women’s stuff, but that one is especially odious.

    You’re correct about the 2 or so weeks, but I was thinking of an earlier one myself. Seems like a depressingly frequent thing 🙁

    @Bumpkin: Lot’s of annoying adverts about, like the ‘oh, stupid man’ or ‘oh stupid woman’ ones. Or the Ocean Finance “Oooh look dear, we can settle all our debts, buy a new car, a new camcorder, and go on holiday, and it will cost us less, aren’t they lovely chaps, and they talked to me about football” loan shark adverts aimed at mongtards.