Inverness:

A ‘spoons, right in the middle of Inverness. This is the bit where I type “nothing to see here”, yes?

Well, yes, but this managed to exceed expectations of ‘spoons by some margin. Sadly it was not a good thing; you expect a ‘spoons to be a little grim, a bit grubby, perhaps, and a bit soulless, that’s the price you pay for low prices.

This was, however, the grubbiest, grimmest one I’d been in, and I’ve been in the Moon Under Water and The Sir Henry Newbolt. It’s a cavernous, but low-ceilinged space, gloomy inside, though better near the windows, where we sat at a sticky table for 40 mins before anyone cleared the multitudes of plates from the next one.