Banchory, Aberdeenshire:

The most, erm, vibrant-looking hotel in town, but you know what? It was pleasant. Inside is basic rather than plush, but the noisier bar is seperate, the landlord is very friendly, and while there’s no ale and the “craft” keg is Greene King, there is Staropramen :-), and there’s whisky-flavour condoms available in the bogs, for that special occasion!