Sutton-on-Sea, lincs:

*enters*

*regrets it*

*looks along bar at pumps, makes hard choice*

“Pint of Stella, half of Bud, please”

“Sorry, they’re not on. I’ve got Stella in bottles”

“OK, two Stella”

“It’s warm, I’ve switched the fridges off”

“OOOOOkaaay…Pint of Carling, half of Strongbow *shudder*” [the lowest common denominator of alcohol].

We sit down. It’s dark, and the Mos Eisley Cantina is looking quite desireable by comparison. There’s a reason it’s only 150k and the Bachus over the road is making good money.