The Perfect Pub

While sitting in a certainly very nice pub today, we pondered the attributes of a perfect pub, and here’s what we came up with:

1. Good beer. Obviously. This really means real ale, but a decent lager, cider and wine is helpful.

2. Food, but not so that the food takes over- it should be a pub, not a restaurant. Cobs in cling film is a nice touch :-).

3. Multi-roomed- at least 2- so there’s a quieter area. The more the better, generally.

4. Music you can hear, but talk over.

5. Victorian architecture- though the stymistress isn’t so convinced of this one being a requirement, but I love Victorian pubs.

6. Varied clientele.

7. A pet. Cat or dog, as a resident.

8. Free wi-fi is a nice touch.

9. Either a dedicated family area, a dedicated no children area, or a no children policy.

10. No TV, or at least no TV in some rooms.

11. Outside seating- and not just the smoking area.

12. Near to public transport.

Anyone have any suggestions, or know one that ticks the boxes?

8 Responses to “The Perfect Pub”

  1. Stu Says:

    My favourite, the Tap + Mallet, Nottingham Road, Loughborough has:

    1. Good beer – DEFINITELY! Plenty of real ales, always changing, plus bottled Owd Roger, OP, that sort of thing.

    2. Food – Um… I think they sometimes have a couple of cheese/onion cobs on the back shelf. I’ve never attempted to eat there. There’s certainly no more than that on offer. There’s a great curry place just round the corner though we normally call in on our way home from a curry.

    3. Multi-roomed – It’s a pub of two halves, pool table, darts, games and tiled floor on one side, and upholstery, carpet and open fire on the other side. There’s a dividing wall but it’s not really two rooms.

    4. Music you can hear, but talk over – absolutely! And it’s always really interesting stuff that means we always have to refer to the Guinnes Book of Hit Singles when we get home.

    5. Victorian architecture – Unfortunately not, but it has a fascinating ceiling in the comfy side… it’s like a giant potato waffle sunk into the ceiling.

    6. Varied clientele – oh yes. You can always make a new friend!

    7. A pet. Cat or dog, as a resident – They have guinea pigs, rabbits and budgies in the garden.

    8. Free wi-fi is a nice touch – Not a chance, but if you build a Pringles antenna, you’d get line of sight to my wireless router.

    9. Either a dedicated family area, a dedicated no children area, or a no children policy – there’s a garden with swings, wendy house and aforementioned pets… I don’t think I’ve ever seen a child inside the pub.

    10. No TV, or at least no TV in some rooms – there’s a large TV on one wall. I think it’s only ever been turned on once.

    11. Outside seating- and not just the smoking area – absolutely, with aforementioned bunnies, etc.

    12. Near to public transport – Loughborough Rail Station is 3 minutes walk. The #1 bus (Nottingham), Skylink to Leicester, Derby and East Midlands Airport and other local buses go past the front door.

    If you ever choose to visit, do let me know and I’ll meet you there!

  2. Stymistress Says:

    Within striking distance of a canal.

  3. Stu Says:

    Even better! The canal is between the station and the pub!

  4. Countrie Bumkin Says:

    My local is about as good as it gets for me – the beer is usually good, its 5 minutes walk, good atmosphere and the locals are extremely entertaining which is something you’ve missed off your list.

    I was told last night that CSI Essington has been cancelled after the pilot episode because all the suspects has no teeth and the DNA was the same. And they’ve all got 15 fingers and webbed feet!

    Another thing is that the Min has is an open fire which you can gather round when the electricity is off – and you can still get beer! Quite an atmosphere when they’re serving by candlelight.

    Alas, the pub has lost it’s best asset as Simon has departed for Stoke. However, I’d be hard pushed to find a better local.

  5. stymaster Says:

    @Bumpkin: The Minerva does tick a good few boxes, yes. As to entertaining locals, well, it depends *how* they entertain…

    @Stu: If I’m ever near your place you will get a call.

    And yes, I forgot the canal thing. If the outside space is within sight of the canal, all the better. Stu, you might remember this one.

  6. Stu Says:

    I half-remember Park Lime Pits, but don’t remember the pub at all. Will have to revisit!

  7. stymaster Says:

    It was a long time ago now: ISTR you being upset by scraping a Mini exhaust…

  8. The Pyle Cock - PubBlog Says:

    […] meets several itmes on my ‘desireable‘ list, in that it’s Victiorian, it has cobs, it’s not far from a canal and a bus, […]