Today a sales droid called work trying to flog us ‘a 30% reduction in our landline to mobile calls’, and took no notice of the ‘We are not interested, thankyou’. After I eventually got rid of the bloodsucking time parasite, we were talking about what to do with sales calls at home:

Approach 1

Say nothing but ‘Yes’.

Approach 2

When asked if Mr [name] is in, say ‘Hang on, I’ll get him’, then return to whatever you were doing, leaving the phone off the hook.

Approach 3

As approach 1, but first repeat the last two words the droid said. (This makes you sound like an old person, by the way.)

Approach4

As approach 2, but play some hideous ‘music on hold’ too.