It’s probably time I actually blogged rather than dropping vague hints about it in other posts: I’ve been unable to drive since October 2020 (with one exception, below). I’ve gradually, as my health has worsened, found it more difficult to drive. In 2008, I had to give up all that archaic 3-pedals-and-a-gearstick stuff, and now, I’ve had to recognise that even the 2 pedals is beyond the fucked state of my body: I had a sudden episode of increased back pain, then a few days later (after a weekend of quality painkillers and lying in bed with headphones) found that actually reaching the brake pedal reliably was impossible. Obviously, this is sub-optimal in most driving situations.

After an appropriate wait, it was obvious this wasn’t going to go away, despite the dismissive words from my GP (funny how, back when we didn’t have Conservatives in power, I didn’t have to fight to get an MRI scan or a referral for less serious symptoms), so it’s back to the fun of submitting forms to the DVLA again, more medical appointments (the one I’ve waited six months for has just been cancelled, so I now have to go against all my principles and go private), and wondering what in the name of $deity I do now: Covid has, believe it or not, done me a favour, as my commute is not currently an issue.

The answer to “what I do now” is rely on my other half for some stuff, buses and taxis for others, while trying to find out the practical aspects of getting behind the wheel again. The DVLA form mentions adaptations to cars, and I know these things exist, but that’s as far as it goes.

I contacted a few specialists, and everyone (including the DVLA dropping very heavy hints) says “you need a driving assessment before you do anything about the car itself”. *sigh* Of course, assessments haven’t been happening due to the covid pandemic.

This is, of course, correct and good advice, but when you have little enthusiasm and just want to be able to get in the perfectly OK car you already have and drive the fucker, not what you want to hear. I’ve had a bit of back pain since my early 20s, but nothing more than the odd twinge until at least 2005/6, and the growing difficulty of doing everyday stuff just didn’t exactly have me looking forward to it.

Anyway, at the first sign of lockdown easing, I got the referral from RDAC, and got the first driving tuition I’ve had since about 1990 when I had a compulsory test to drive vehicles for my employer at the time. A 25-minute drive around, and I’m at least convinced: one benefit of drive-by-wire in cars means that the type of controls I’m having recommended to me look OK in the car, are easy to use, and don’t get in the way of my long legs or anyone needing to drive the car normally. I realise that I’m spent the last few years compensating, and probably, in all honesty, should have done this a few years ago, but then hindsight is always 20/20.

So now I submit and re-submit forms to DVLA (remember kids, you legally have to tell DVLA about medical conditions, even if you’re responsible and give up driving temporarily because you know you’re not safe, and you have to return the form within 2 weeks, even if you can’t have the assessment in that time). Now I need to wait (and wait and wait and wait, what with those damned Marxists at the DVLA striking), and I need a few hours tuition to get really familiar, and then, there’s the problem of a car.

The Scirocco is now 11 years old. It has 80k miles on the clock, which, while not by any means starship, will mean some maintenance issues. It’s worth something like £4k, and it’s a low-slung coupe with limited space around the steering column. The controls cost about £2k, which isn’t adding up to a good thing, so it has gone, and for the first time in over 30 years I’m not currently the owner of a motor vehicle.

So now I’m at the point of a mixture of waiting for DVLA to agree with the assessment, trying to get some financial help with the cost of a genuine disability (and good fucking luck with that in the current climate), and inevitably spunk a load of cash on another (and of course, I’ve got to suffer salesmen again), then hand it over to someone to spend 2k on having the trim hacked to pieces so I can drive it. Not that I’m bitter 😉