For the benefit of the living dead driver today in Aldridge:

1. Here at this handy page you will find a handy reference to all the types of pedestrian crossings. You may wish to note that none of these include “a funny bit of block-paving in a different colour”, despite whatever you may think. The presence or absence of big lighty things may be help in spotting this.

2. Use of a gear above 2nd is beneficial in many situations and can result in an admirable reduction in noise, fuel usage, pollution, and frustration. 3500 rpm is not a usual cruising rpm around town.

3. On a 2008 VW Polo, the right-hand column stalk can be moved downwards to turn off the wipers if it is not raining. This may help with the whole ‘observation’ thing that can be so hard. This is otherwise known as ‘looking where you are fucking well going’, I’m lead to believe.

4. Though cars have got bigger, a 2008 VW Polo is 1650mm wide, not forty fucking feet, and will therefore fit through gaps a little wider than this without difficulty. Certainly, if, as my late father used to say “You could get a bloody bus through there”, or indeed as my driving instructor was heard to comment “you could get the Queen Mary through there sideways”, you can be assured the Polo will fit comfortably.

5. When approaching an island, it is only neccesary to stop to give way to another vehicle. If that vehicle has already turned off, it is perfectly acceptable to continue.
Hope that helps.