So then Jamie Oliver, doubtless bored of creating school dinners the pupils refuse to eat, is now claiming we “care more about getting drunk than eating well”, and thinks that football supporters should (presumably) eat this shite instead of a good honest pie.

Jamie. Go away. You are a twunt, and everyone hates you. Well, everyone that matters anyway. We don’t care what you think, now get back on your poxy scooter and ride under a bus. And take the world supply of rocket and sun-dried tomatoes with you.

Now, where did I leave my beer?